


Sam Evans and the Grilled Cheese Diversion

by KillerQueen80



Category: Glee
Genre: Gen, M/M, Spoiler!fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-21
Updated: 2014-02-21
Packaged: 2018-01-13 05:47:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,756
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1214968
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KillerQueen80/pseuds/KillerQueen80
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam and Blaine are totally partners. And that's why it's Sam's job to calm Blaine down when he gets too freaked out about Nationals and Throat Explosion. And Blaine has definitely gotten too crazy. (Based on the episode summary for episode 5.11 "City of Angels)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sam Evans and the Grilled Cheese Diversion

Sam likes to think of his friendship with Blaine as a super awesome partnership. They’re like Cyclops and Wolverine, (Blaine is totally Cyclops), Batman and Alfred (they take turns being each other’s Alfred) there is no sidekick, they’re 100% partners who totally look out for each other and stuff. 

Like, when Sam gets super into working out and goes overboard because some modeling agency tells him to lose weight, Blaine stops him and buys him some Doritos and they watch movies instead. 

And when Blaine starts getting kind of freaked out and talking to puppets, Sam talks Glee Club into giving him a solo at Nationals. 

See, they’re partners. As much as people like Santana like to say that he’s Blaine’s sidekick, and Tina likes to say that he’s Blaine’s warm body while he’s separated from Kurt (that’s so over, seriously) or Puck calls them Beavis and Gay Butthead, none of that is true at all. 

They know how to read each other perfectly. Which is why Sam knows that Blaine has reached a new level of out of control. He’s not on Blaine out of control levels anymore. 

He’s reached Rachel levels of out of control. 

Sam remembers living with Finn during their senior year and Rachel was freaking out about NYADA and Nationals. She’d talk super fast, so fast Finn had to remind her to breathe, and she’d be googling things or in NYADA chatrooms and it was like a war planning scene from a movie, but with songs and costumes and stuff. 

That’s what Blaine’s room looks like. He doesn’t even know where Blaine got that chalkboard from. 

So Sam does what any good partner would do. He tries to be helpful. 

“So, do you think you can get away for the weekend?” Blaine asks from his desk. They’re supposed to be studying, although Sam’s not sure why. He’s not going to college and Blaine already got in. Who cares what grades they get? 

“Are we going to New York again? Because Ryder got an XBox One and I kinda wanna see if it beats Artie’s PS4.” 

“No, we’re not going to New York, but it’s good that you’ve already got plans with those guys, because I need them too.” 

Sam groans, “You’re not singing to Kurt again are you, because I think he gets it now.” 

Blaine rolls his eyes, “No, I think we should go to Fort Wayne.” 

“Indiana? Why? What’s in Indiana that we can’t find in Ohio? You can find more bow ties in Columbus, I’m sure.” 

“Bow ties, what? No, Sam, I don’t need to go shopping. I want to go check out Throat Explosion. They’re having this huge boot camp rehearsal this weekend, it’s supposed to be intense. They sing their songs while running through a military style obstacle course to increase their endurance and breath control. I was thinking if we could get someone to sneak in, probably Ryder because he could blend in really well, maybe we can talk Mr. Schue into doing something similar. Some of us really need to work on our breath control.” 

Sam looks at Blaine confused. 

“I don’t get it, why an obstacle course?” 

Blaine sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose, which Sam knows is a sign that Blaine is frustrated, which Sam takes offense to because Sam’s the one who should be frustrated. 

“I read once that when Beyonce’s dad was managing Destiny’s Child, he used to make them practice their songs while running on a treadmill. You need good command of your breath control to sing, especially if you’re going to be dancing. Obviously, they’ve got pretty intense choreography planned if they’re building their endurance with an obstacle course.” 

“Can’t we just get Mike and Jake to do our choreography?” 

“I don’t know if they’ll be enough anymore. I’m waiting on a text from Rachel. One of the chorus girls in Funny Girl used to be in Throat Explosion and Rachel’s getting some intel for me. Now we also need to talk costumes. I haven’t figured out if they’re going to go minimalist with their costumes and let the performance speak for itself, or if they’re going full on Gaga crazy, in which case, our typical costumes may not work. I’m asking Kurt to send me some sketches, maybe Tina can make us something else. More along the lines of our Gaga costumes.”

“Dude, if you wear something like your Gaga costume during Nationals, we’re gonna lose for sure. Besides, you hated it.” 

Blaine gets up from his desk and goes over to the chalkboard where he’s got a list already started. 

“I did hate it, but I’m willing to take one for the team. It’s LA, I talked to my brother and theatrical is in there right now.” 

“You called Cooper for advice? You do remember who your brother is right? Because he thinks any song you can’t work pointing into it isn’t worth singing.” 

“Exactly!” Blaine says, pointing at Sam, before picking up a piece of chalk. “Normally, Cooper would be the last person I’d call, but he’s just crazy enough that he may accidentally stumble onto the perfect idea. We’re skyping with him tonight.” 

“We?” Sam asks. 

Cooper makes Sam nervous, he’s like Blaine on steroids and three times as conceited. 

That’s really conceited. 

“Yeah, you’re my second. The Iceman to my Maverick.” 

“I thought I was Maverick,” Sam says. 

“We’ve discussed this, I’m Maverick; look at me Sam, I’m Maverick.” 

“Fine, whatever, but why do I have to talk to Cooper? I could call Rachel. Or Mercedes. She went with Rachel to spy on Vocal Adrenaline once, she told me they Funkified them by finding that Funk was their weakness. Can’t we just do that? Can’t we invite Throat Explosion to McKinley and sing them an old song from the 70’s because they have no souls or whatever? It could be like we’re destroying their musical horcruxes.” 

“Wait, say that again?” 

“We could destroy their musical horcruxes?”

Blaine starts pacing. 

“I can’t believe I never considered that. They have no musical weaknesses. At all. I’ve watched all their performance videos and there is not a genre of music they can’t do. But maybe they have some objects we could destroy that would weaken them. I’ll have to do more research.” 

Okay, Sam thinks, Blaine’s officially reached crazy town.

“I’ve got it! I have the perfect plan. But first, I’m hungry,” Sam says, and Blaine stops pacing to glare at him.

“Now is not the time for food, Sam. We need to strategize. And find a costume for Ryder to sneak into their bootcamp in. And we need to destroy their metaphorical horcruxes.” 

“And you know I work better when I’m full. And you know what makes me work super hard? Your magical grilled cheese on that fancy bread with that really good cheese your Mom buys. The kind that you have to actually go to the deli for? She said she’ll have some here just for me.” 

Blaine sighs, “I am kind of hungry.” 

“And you know what they say, food totally makes the brain work better. Or something. That’s why you’re supposed to eat breakfast before school and SATs and stuff.” 

“I think you mean milk does a body good, but fine whatever. I’ll go make us some grilled cheese sandwiches.” 

“Thanks, I’ll stay up here and do some research,” Sam says as Blaine heads out the room. As soon as Sam hears Blaine’s footsteps on the stairs, Sam closes the door and grabs Blaine’s phone then presses the speed dial. 

“Hey cutie, I wasn’t expecting to hear from you for hours.” 

“Kurt, it’s Sam.” 

“Why are you using Blaine’s phone, is he okay?” 

“Define okay,” Sam says, and he can hear Kurt moving around in the background. 

“He’s not talking to puppets again is he?” Kurt asks.

“No, but he’s crazy freaking out about Throat Explosion.” 

Silence. 

“Kurt? You still there?” 

“Yeah, I’m constantly struck speechless by the ridiculousness of that glee club’s name. Now, what’s the issue?” 

“He’s gone Rachel levels of freaked out. There is a chalkboard in his room. Where did he even get a chalkboard, Kurt? I am doing what all good partners do, and I’m calling for backup.” 

“Rachel levels, huh?” 

“He wants us to sing while doing a boot camp obstacle course because of our breath control or something; And, he’s taking advice from Cooper.” 

“Oh wow. That’s new. Here’s what you need to do Sam. You need to get him to relax. You need to make him not think about Nationals for at least two hours. His mind needs to be taken completely off of everything related to graduation, everything school related, Nationals especially.” 

Sam nods, before he realizes Kurt can’t see him.

“And how do I do that? What do I do? Besides sex, obviously because that’s what you’d do.” 

“Damn right I would, but I’m not there and I won’t be around for skype sex tonight, I have work.” 

“So what then?” 

Sam pauses and can hear Kurt pacing on his side. 

“What’s going on in student council? Can you come up with something to distract him? Are there any smaller kids getting picked on that he could maybe try to help? Any lowly freshman getting made fun of for having braces or something?”

“Not that I know of, but I suppose I could get Tina to eat cake alone again or I could talk Marley into crying during Glee club.” 

“Perfect. Find someone for Blaine to help. Trust me, it’s the only thing that works better than sex at distracting him.” 

“Got it. I’ll send a text out to Glee club then. I don’t think any of them are going to want to run an obstacle course.” 

“Maybe not, but Blaine’s not wrong about breath control. Trying running laps instead.” 

Sam rolls his eyes. Of course Kurt would say that. 

“Thanks Kurt.” 

“Of course Sam, thank you for taking care of my fiance. Get him here in one piece.” 

“Of course.” 

Sam hangs up and takes a deep breath; he can smell the grilled cheese. He grabs his phones and starts texting before heading down to eat. 

Blaine’s Grilled Cheeses are really delicious. 

And if when Blaine gets to school tomorrow, Marley, Jake, and Ryder are fighting, Unique is having a fashion emergency, and Kitty is having homework problems, it’s totally a coincidence.   
(Or sometimes, Wolverine needs all of the X Men to work together. Blaine doesn’t have to know that.)


End file.
